All’s well that looks like ending well

I was stuck for a photo to use for today – at least one that would have anything to do with what I’ve been writing about. In desperation, I’ve resorted to a photo that would have been taken about the time of year portrayed – some bluebells in my garden.

The photograph was captured on 29th April this year using my cropped sensor, 24MP Pentax KP mounted with a Sigma 70mm f/2.8 mm macro lens at f/11. The ISO was 100 and the shutter speed was 3/10 seconds. I used a tripod.

I did start out today with some idea about what to write about. Yesterday, after a lakeside walk with their children and an accidental meeting, there had been a late night discussion during which the couple had agreed that they wanted to be ‘an item’, but needed more time to learn about each other. They decided that they were prepared to go public about that limited deal.

Today, writing about events two days later, they were at the weekly dance and were prompted to say something by a sharp rebuke: they had virtually ignored everyone by remaining in their own ‘bubble’. (I didn’t use that word in my writing -it was 2005 then!). So, they took it in turns to reveal how they had come to a realisation about this step-change in their relationship – an awareness of love for each other. That this had all taken place over a mere two weeks caused a degree of shock among their listeners. There was a mixture of shock and disbelief also when they told their children – even though it had been the children who had first suspected something.

The stage is now set for two key days to come. After all, it’s one thing to decide that you need ‘more time to learn about each other’. But how long is ‘more time’? What criteria do you use to decide whether you still want to take things further? What would ‘further things’ comprise anyway – engagement? wedding bells? a civil service? simply living together? or deciding there was no reasonable probability of a long-term romantic relationship? Awkward questions indeed!. I look forward to discovering what they decide. I have no idea yet. Then, the following day will be the meeting at which Gareth apologises to his ex-wife. But how will she take the apology, when she realises that he has a new love interest? Has his ‘change of mind’ been a device to ease his guilt and shift her out of his consciousness?

Progress in words today? A further 5,000 words. Just over 29,000, but no nearer knowing how to reach a conclusion that will justify the verbiage.

Writing – Persephone and the Photographer 3

An Excerpt

“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!” she said. “Rewind.”

“Adam,” her voice was insistent as she faced him, “look at me,” she said firmly, “You and I need to talk – and I mean now.”

“I’m going to put on my amateur psychologist head,” she began. “Adam, you seem to me to be conflicted. From things that you’ve said and done over the past few weeks I have the distinct impression that you’d like us to be a couple.”

He nodded.

“On the other hand, you seem to have very low self-esteem: perhaps because of the way Mary dumped you. You have also picked up on something Neil seems to have said about me being too good for you,” She continued, “So, you’d like us to be a proper couple but you don’t think that it’s really on the cards. Then again you seem to want whatever kind of relationship we do have to continue – for whatever reason – but that isn’t the issue.”

“OK,” she said, “I guess you are worried that if we aren’t already a proper couple that I’m going to turn round in a few weeks and break up our less-than-coupleship .That when you’ve exhausted your list of places to take me I’ll dump you.”

“Bottom line”, she concluded, “You don’t want to be dumped – either because it would be a second time and even more hurtful than the first – or because you simply don’t want to stop seeing me. Does any of that sum up your conflict?” she asked.

“Yes,” he started, “but…”

“But nothing,” she interrupted, “I’m in the chair! Let’s get one thing clear straight away, I’m not about to dump you. I know that you have been hurt but for one thing I’m not Mary. Secondly, I can’t dump you. That isn’t even logically possible. You’re supposed to be an expert in logic, Adam. A contract can’t be broken unless there is a contract to break. Can it?” she asked. “Have you and I exchanged vows of undying love? That was intended as a rhetorical question,” she said quickly, “But if not where’s the contract? Thirdly I don’t know you well enough to dump you,” She paused, “If there had been enough evidence that you were dumpable I’d have done it already. I’d have dumped you at Starbucks.”

“Listen,” she insisted, “You’re a really nice man, a really likeable person – but you must start believing in yourself – and in me. You have to start trusting me and in my judgment. We could have a wonderful life ahead of us – or not,” she added, “but slow down. If our friendship is one that could blossom, allow it room to grow. Let some light into it. Are you OK with that?” she pleaded.