“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!” she said. “Rewind.”
“Adam,” her voice was insistent as she faced him, “look at me,” she said firmly, “You and I need to talk – and I mean now.”
“I’m going to put on my amateur psychologist head,” she began. “Adam, you seem to me to be conflicted. From things that you’ve said and done over the past few weeks I have the distinct impression that you’d like us to be a couple.”
“On the other hand, you seem to have very low self-esteem: perhaps because of the way Mary dumped you. You have also picked up on something Neil seems to have said about me being too good for you,” She continued, “So, you’d like us to be a proper couple but you don’t think that it’s really on the cards. Then again you seem to want whatever kind of relationship we do have to continue – for whatever reason – but that isn’t the issue.”
“OK,” she said, “I guess you are worried that if we aren’t already a proper couple that I’m going to turn round in a few weeks and break up our less-than-coupleship .That when you’ve exhausted your list of places to take me I’ll dump you.”
“Bottom line”, she concluded, “You don’t want to be dumped – either because it would be a second time and even more hurtful than the first – or because you simply don’t want to stop seeing me. Does any of that sum up your conflict?” she asked.
“Yes,” he started, “but…”
“But nothing,” she interrupted, “I’m in the chair! Let’s get one thing clear straight away, I’m not about to dump you. I know that you have been hurt but for one thing I’m not Mary. Secondly, I can’t dump you. That isn’t even logically possible. You’re supposed to be an expert in logic, Adam. A contract can’t be broken unless there is a contract to break. Can it?” she asked. “Have you and I exchanged vows of undying love? That was intended as a rhetorical question,” she said quickly, “But if not where’s the contract? Thirdly I don’t know you well enough to dump you,” She paused, “If there had been enough evidence that you were dumpable I’d have done it already. I’d have dumped you at Starbucks.”
“Listen,” she insisted, “You’re a really nice man, a really likeable person – but you must start believing in yourself – and in me. You have to start trusting me and in my judgment. We could have a wonderful life ahead of us – or not,” she added, “but slow down. If our friendship is one that could blossom, allow it room to grow. Let some light into it. Are you OK with that?” she pleaded.